Work Crush

Tonight you’re hanging out at the family restaurant.  Your full-time day job as a desk jockey in a mind-numbing office atmosphere has been taking its toll, and recently after some rough days you’ve headed straight to the restaurant for a few drinks.  Your brother Cam is often at the pizza joint too.  Sometimes he’s working, but other times he’ll just meet up with you to have some bevvies while you check out the clientele together.

Your bro is aware of how shitty your job is.  He’s offered to pick you up a few times after work, a decision he regretted after experiencing the foul mood you’re in following a long day of crunching numbers.  But he also got to meet your lone bright spot in the workplace.  Malorie.  She’s a young twenty-something brunette who’s always flirted with you and walks out with you at the end of the day.  Cam noticed the flirting immediately.

“Dude, she wants your dick,” he said after witnessing a few end-of-day encounters.

“Pfft, even if that’s true, she’s got a boyfriend.  Lives with him and everything.”

“Well she’s flirting with you, so maybe things aren’t so great in paradise,” Cam comments.

“I’m sure they’re not,” you answer.  “Between her boring job and crappy home life, she’s always miserable… until she walks out with me at the end of the day,” you realize.

“You should ask her for a drink then!  Sounds like she’d jump at the opportunity.”  You just laugh and shake your head at your brother’s idea, but can’t help wondering if she’d accept such an invitation.

You’re enjoying a beer at the restaurant this evening while Cam is handling the incoming phone orders.  “Dude, what’s up?” your bro asks when noticing you staring into space.  “Oh, nothing, just exhausted,” you reply.  That may be true, but also true is that you were just thinking about your conversation with Malorie earlier today.  After another soul-crushing day at work, you ran into her as you were both heading to the elevator.  You made small talk and laughed a bit on the ride to the lobby, and chatted a while longer outside the building.

“Anyway, after a day like that, I need a beer,” you said casually, hoping she’d invite herself along since you’re too chicken to invite her yourself.

“Me too, but I’m exhausted,” she says, seemingly shutting you down.  “I’ll be having mine at home.  I just want to get out of these clothes and into my sweatpants,” she adds just as casually.  If she wanted you to spend the night fantasizing about her stripping out of her work clothes, mission accomplished.  You eventually said your goodbyes and you watched for a few seconds as she walked to her car, clearly seeing her slump her shoulders.  It’s like you both knew the best part of the day was over.

The phone rings at the restaurant and brings you back to reality.  Within a second of answering the phone, your brother is rolling his eyes and holds the receiver away from his ear.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters in frustration.  “This is the same prick who was a complete asshole when he called earlier,” Cam whispers to you while covering the mouthpiece of the phone.  “Apparently we gave him the wrong order.”

Clearly fighting the urge to tell this guy off, Cam says flatly, “Sorry sir, we can correct that right away, just tell us again what you wanted.”

He holds the phone away from his ear and you can faintly hear the guy yelling on the other end.

“You won’t believe this,” Cam whispers.  “It sounds like he’s screaming at his chick!  Listen…” he says as he puts the call on speakerphone.

You listen to the lunatic for a few seconds before hearing the girl start screaming back at him.  You furrow your brow and listen closely, waiting for the girl to speak again.

“What?” your brother asks, noticing your reaction.

“Shhh!” you tell him quickly, trying to focus on the girl’s voice. She seems to be defending herself to her apparent boyfriend or husband.

“Holy shit!” you say quietly to Cam.  “It’s her!”

“Her who?” he asks.

“Malorie!” you exclaim.

Surprise, and then sympathy crosses your brother’s face.  “Wow,” he says, “this guy really is an asshole.”  While listening to Malorie freak out on the other end of the phone, you suddenly notice Cam’s expression change to one of excitement, as if he’s come up with the greatest idea ever.  You can almost see the light bulb appear over his head, and knowing your brother, the idea is probably pure evil.

“Check this out!” he gasps with barely controlled glee.

After taking the call off speaker, your brother speaks calmly into the phone.

“Sir, I understand your frustration, but unfortunately we don’t have a driver available to replace your order.  If you’d like to pick it up, we’d be happy to throw in a coupon for $20 off your next order for your troubles.”  A big smile crosses your brother’s face as he listens to the a-hole bark his response.

“Sounds good, sir.  And again, we’re very sorry.  See you in 30 minutes.”

Your bro hangs up the phone and frantically scribbles something down on a piece of paper before handing it to you.

“What’s this?” you ask.

“Malorie’s address!  She lives across the city and it’ll probably take the guy half an hour to get here.  I’ll ‘forget’,” he says with air quotes, “to put his pizza in the oven until he’s here, giving you enough time to have some fun with your work chick!”

You just laugh at him.  “Come on, are you serious?”

“You heard them on the phone, that relationship is beyond dysfunctional! If you think there’s even the slightest chance you’re going to make a move on her at some point, you might as well do it now.  She’s furious at that fuckin’ asshole.  She’ll probably never fuck you better than she would tonight!”

It only takes a few seconds for you to realize he’s right.  You figure you’ll probably make a play at Malorie eventually, so why wait?

“Gimme the paper,” you say with a smile before grabbing your keys and jacket.

“YES!” Cam exclaims before fist-bumping you and handing you the address.

“Good luck bro!” he yells as you head for the door.

After 12 minutes of speeding through the city, you show up at Malorie’s address, noticing that only her car is parked in the driveway.

You park on the street and head up the walkway, ringing the bell when you get to the door.  It opens a few seconds later, and Malorie stands before you still in her work clothes. She seems just as happy as she is shocked to see you standing there.

“Oh my God!  What are you doing here?” she asks in a delightful but curious tone.

Lie

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